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WELCOME TO

BOB ONLINE!!!

(THE MOST PATHETIC EXISTENCE WITHIN A 50 LIGHT YEAR RADIUS)

#of visitors to the wonderful world of BOB since 5/24/97

Hit Counter

(THE GREATEST # OF STRIKES EVER RECORDED IN KIEFER'S BAND)


View this page in...
Ebonics
Pig Latin
Redneck
Moron

Quote of the week: "Hooked on Ebonics worked for me!"


***Hey caffeine freaks!***

 

Please be sure to visit

BOB'S CAFFEINE SHRINE

 

 

A comprehensive overview of several popular highly caffeinated soft drinks which maintain
a level of spiffiness which is required of the Bob Seal of Approval.


Now featuring in Bob's Caffeine Shrine...

<drum roll>

This is what you've all been waiting for...

MT. DEW VS. SURGE!!!
(A BOB ONLINE HYPERCAFFEINATED SURVEY)

We're going to finally settle the score!!

Your Name:

Your E-mail address:

Which highly caffeinated citrus flavored soda do you prefer?

Mountain Dew  Surge

If you have a hypercaffeinated soda link, send me the URL:

Type your comments here:

Only one entry per e-mail address, please. I promise that I will not give out your e-mail address nor will I Spam you. 
(Spamming is against my religion)

Be sure to out the results in the Battlefield!  

THE GRAND PAGE OF SPIFFY LINKS!!!
is currently being updated for your convienence and satisfaction.
If you know of a site worthy of consideration for my page or have any crazy ideas , send me the address and a brief description HERE, and I will graciously add your page...uh, when I feel like it.



WOULD YOU LIKE TO JOIN THE HIGHER ORDER OF BOB?

Join free of charge and be recognized as one of the Outer Circle Of Bob on our page.
PLUS, you have the option of adding your personal page to the GRAND PAGE OF SPIFFY LINKS!!!,
which is presently being updated.




Fill out the following and join our ranks!
NOTE!!!  this form is not functional at this time.  E-mail me Fill out the following and join our ranks!
NOTE!!!  this form is not functional at this time.  E-mail me

<A Name you call yourself

<E-Mail Address*

<Your URL

Check here if you love Josta

Check here if you would like to join the Higher Order of Bob

Further Comments:


*Your address is needed to confirm your submission and/or membership and will NOT be added to a spam list


WEBRINGS

 

.

I would like to take up this space to salute
the official carbonated beverage of the inner circle....

...A Personal Favorite...

***A PAGE FOR THE TRULY JOSTAFIED***
The Unofficial Page For Josta

***SAVE OUR JOSTA!! Dont let them take it off the market!!***
Help us help you!
Click here to find out how

"We're not Jostaholics, we're Josta conoisseurs."
(does not contain FD&C Yellow No. 5)



***Bob Ingles I, after three terms of unopposed leadership, has passed governorship of Bobdom to the Heir Apparent, Bob Ingles II, effective 6/4/97. In doing so, Bob I drafted the Sacred Writ of Bob, rules and values which the Bobs have sworn to live by.

***Bob II has passed governorship of Outer Bobdom to the next Heir Apparent, Bob Ingles III, effective 6/2/98.

"Munchkin" Bob IV has earned the right to reign as ceremonial figurehead of Bobdom, being the 4th high governor.  Though the empire of Bob has split and grown apart, the essence of the Most High Bob and the foundational principles of the Higher Order will remain...


For all practical and intensive purposes, the empire known as Bobdom 
has been gradually transformed into more of a loose confederation under the Bob Crown--
Inner Bobdom, and the outlying hinterland known as Outer Bobdom.

Inner Bobdom--Home of the Bob Crown, and the vast estates of both Bob Ingles and the Princess, soon to be expanded to the land of the Golden Apples.

Outer Bobdom--The rest of Bobdom, including the Province of Uniboob and the Lollipop Guild. Former seat of government of the High Council of Bob, now only a ceremonial site of governorship.

On the Border--The estate of the Duke of Nerd, Bob Ingles II.


And now, I, the omnipotent Grand Master Bob,
shall introduce the inner circle of the Bob Empire...

BOB (da man)-Emperor of Bobdom
A Legend In His Own Time...

"Ned" (Bob II)-2nd Deity, Duke of Nerd
A Second Generation of the Bob Dynasty
"Phil" (Bob III)-3rd High Governor of Bobdom
Leader of the Rebellious province of Uniboob
"Munchkin" (Bob IV)-Madame Governor of Bobdom
From the wonderful land of Oz...

Joe "Bob"-Archduke of Outer Bobdom
The Great Communicator

And give mention loyal allies in the outer circle...

Honkwang "Bob" -- Princess of Bobdom 

Wes "Jim" Bob
"Fluffy" Bob
"Bob" Jones
"Rosey" Bob
Elaina "Bob"
"Bob" (Dork)
Stefanie "Bob"
"G. T." Bob

Katy "Bob"
Barry "Bob"
Holly "Bob"
Trash Can "Bob"

   

Dick "Rooster" Bob
Alfred Ben Jeff "Al" Bob
Jagwio "Bob"
Katie "Bob"
Lissy "Bob"

"Bob" (Cool Guy)
Anakin "Bob"
Brett "Bob"
Lippy "Bob

Lil' Bob "Peeps"
Bob of the Squirrels (?)
Wiggle Sprout "Bob"

Join us!!!...the proud, the few, the BOB.


HIGHER ORDER NEWS--

8/00-- Archduke Joe "Bob" moves north to the land of the Wolverines.

7/00-- Nerd relocates his estate to the golden shores, extending the sphere of influence of Bob eastward.

6/9/00--Bob has brought in Princess Honkwang from parts unknown to rule by his side in the land of Bobdom.

5/27/00--The Duke of Nerd has found a possible candidate for the next Duchess of Nerd.

5/00-- Bob I has only 1 more year before reaching true enlightenment.

1/00--The former Princess of Bobdom, Laura Lynn, has fled beyond the southern borders, abandoning the kingdom and her former throne.  

Ingleland has fallen!!!
What was one the thriving center of the once prosperous kingdom of Bobdom has fallen to rebel forces.  In a successful coup attempt throught 1/99, the Bushwhackers from a neighboring hostile territory overtook parliamentary control of the beloved Ingleland from the incumbent Lunar worshipers.  The new influence quickly put a stranglehold on what soon became the minority of Inglites in the Bob/Lunar camp.  Having lost all political influence and with the Bushwhackers closing in fast, and to escape the essence of the Great Stinky One, Bob Ingles withdrew all forces, and finally fled Ingleland on 6/8/99, never to return...

6/10/99--Bob takes residence in the Land of the Golden Apples, aspiring to colonize this new territory.

On 8/22/98, Bob Ingles II defeated Bob I in the 1st Bob Ingles Invitational Skins Game. Junior's clutch putting on the 17th green sealed the victory and proved lethal for amateur Bob I, who lost the match 21-9.

UPSET CITY BABY!!! in the 2nd Bob Invitational, on 8/29, the slow and steady but consistent and patient play of Bob Ingles, the all powerful, netted him his first triumph in Skins competition, shocking Bob II and some Beach Bum 15-11-10 in a fierce three way battle.

The Bob Ingles Championship Racing Series: On 8/12/98, in the first competitive racing action in several months, Bob Ingles held off a late charge by Bob II and consistent stagnation by that Beach Bum to win the day's competition.
Final results: Bob I--29 pts.; Bob II--25 pts.; Bum--17 pts.

The 3rd Annual Higher Order Grand Prix is tentatively scheduled for this fall. Defending Champion Joe "Bob" and perrenial powerhouse Bob Ingles emerge as the early favorites. Last year Bob I dominated early but was narrowly defeated by Joe "Bob", who has won two straight times. However, Bobs I and II have had numerous test sessions and races under their belts since then, and the Duke (Bob II) has shown vast improvement. Look for the two of them to hook up on race day, and look for a fairly even and exciting 3-car battle...no word on Bob III or his interest in participating at this time.

The Higher Order of Bob has declared war on the evil faction which will be hereby known as the Axis Powers, due to an attack on the integrity and well-being of Bob II. With the tactical genius of Bob and Ned, the empire looks to obliterate the competition.

By executive order, effective immediately, Bob III has been stripped of the title of Second Deity of Bobdom.  Ned has been awarded the highly sought position.  Joe "Bob" has been appointed as Third Deity.

YIPPEY SKIPPEY!!!  The embattled Princess Ingles has finally been granted leave of the god-forsaken Isle of Seclusion, home of the evil Urine Deities and the Wicked Witch of the Southeast, effective 6/28/98.  The Princess has been rescued by the Good Fairy, from parts unknown.

BOB LEAVES THE KINGDOM!!!!!
Effective 2/23/98, Bob Ingles I, king of Bobdom, ruler of the province of Ingleland, has taken residence in a neighboring kingdom, leaving his throne unattended and up for grabs the Princess and the lesser entities among the Ingleites to quarrel over, until his eventual return(?).
(4/1/98)HEEEEEEEE'S BAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!!
Bob Ingles I returns to his monarchy to find it in a shambles. He looks to take his throne back this week.

Bob III is currently looking for a queen of Bobdom....

Meanwhile, Bob Ingles II swears to remain a bachelor for the immediate future. Most do not think he will hear much argument from the female observers. Actually...Inside sources don't think he will last, either.

OK, finally, the Nedster has found a sufficient queen (ack!). They are almost as good of a match as Laura Lynn and His Omniscience, Bob Ingles.

It appears as if The Omnipotent One's record still stands. with another four and a half months remaining in the fisical year, Bob Ingles II has conceded defeat in his quest to break Bob's coveted and unprecedented record of "most strikes in a year." At last count the totals were: Bob III--3; Bob II--17; Bob IV--42; and Bob I--87 gazillion.

Utilizing his executive privilege, His Majesty, Bob Ingles I, has granted Laura Lynn, Princess of Bobdom, passage into the Outer Circle of Bob, effective 12/2/97.

Bob brings the title back home!! In an epic battle of skill and wits, Bob comes from behind to upset top-ranked Joe "Bob" in the air hockey title game, 7-6. Bob, who lost the crown to Bob III 7-5 in Game 5 of a Best of 5 Series this past summer, regains the title for the second time.

Fearing a permanent breakup of the once prominent bonds which hold the inner circle together, Former Monarch Bob Ingles I and Archduke Joe "Bob" made a pact, effective 11/17/97, to attempt to restore glory to the Bob Empire, and to remain allies in the battle for self-realization.

An little inner circle hanky-panky?? Munchkin "Bob" and "Rooster" Bob seem to be hitting it off...

"Munchkin" Bob was selected as the initiate for the inner circle for 1998.

"Joe Bob" was finally re-elected to his old seat on the High Council, effective 9/19/97, after deliberations resulting in a
3 1/2 month stalemate.


VISIT OUR SATELLITE PAGES!!!

BOB'S PAGE OF SPIFFY LINKS!!!

BOB'S CAFFEINE SHRINE


WORD OF THE WEEK: rectilinear


Some graphics provided by Calhoon's site

BOB ONLINE | GRAND PAGE OF SPIFFY LINKS | BOB'S CAFFEINE SHRINE | THE CENTER HUB


Brief Biographical Sketch

Name: Bob Ingles*

Screen Name: JarBob69

Real Name: Joe Mammasphat**

Occupation: Slave driver at Your Friendly Neighborhood Grocer

Sex: Male

Weekend Occupation: Stud

Orientation: VERY Hetero

Former Occupation: Street Pharmacist

Age: 21

Day Job: Full-time College Student

Height: 6' 0 1/2" (184 cm)

High School GPA: 3.97

Weight: 190 lbs. (~83 kg)

Rank: 3

Hair: Dooky Brown

College GPA To-date: 3.48

Eyes: Hazel

Special Talent: None

*not to be confused w/ Robert P. Ingle or Ingle's Markets, Inc

Official Position in Society: Scapegoat

**My real, real name is not important

Meyers-Briggs Personality Type: IXTP

OTHER INNER CIRCLE CHARACTERISTICS

OF

LIFE AS WE KNOW IT ???

Copyright 1997, 1998, 1999, 2000
BOB Online and its contents or ideas may not be copied or manipulated without my permission in any way, for the benefit of evil or good. May whoever that so chooses live a long, unhappy, sterile, bed-ridden, maggot-infested life.